Having trouble with my son's teachers - need advice

cruelshoes · Joined: 23 Sep 2005 Posts: 2423 Location: Washington State

My 7 year old celiac son is in the first grade. He has a morning teacher and an afternoon teacher. I thought things were going well, but I am finding out recently that they are not. The class has been having demonstrations where each child decides on a food they want to make, and the child makes it and the class gets to taste it. Yesterday, it was Kool-aid, which we all know is fine. The teacher would not let Sean taste any, because she was not sure he could have it. I appreciate that, but I know it would have been fine for him, and I had to deal with a weepy 7 year old that feels like he gets left out of everything. They also had M&M's last week, and again, he was not allowed to have any.

Here is my struggle: How can I help give the teachers enough information to help him participate, but not overwhelm them with more than the average non-GF person can handle? I have a hard time explaining "yes, this brand is OK, but not this flavor or that package because that one has wheat in it". I have thought about making up a binder of common brands and foods to keep in the classroom, but there is always the one thing that I forget to include that comes up in class. Also, with 25 Kindergarten, First and second graders in one room (it is a mixed age class), they really do not have time to be reading an Encyclopedia of GF foods. I have asked that they let me know about cooking activities ahead of time, but that doesn't seem to be happening. I even told them they could call me and ask if something is OK, but they don't.

Please help me figure this one out. I don't want o be one of those overbearing "allergy mothers", I just want him to be able to participate. It breaks my heart every time he comes home and tells me about something he could not have.
_________________
-Colleen
Dx 8/05 via bloodwork/biopsy
9-YO son Dx 11/05 via bloodwork/biopsy
Daughters have negative bloodwork - so far!

A woman is like a tea bag-you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The Edifying Conscience · Joined: 29 Aug 2005 Posts: 2383

Colleen,
As a former teacher, I think you need to be one of those overbearing 'allergy mothers.' Teachers are overworked, they have too many kids in their classes, they have some students that demand all of their time(behaivoral issues), etc. It's the kid with the 'overbearing' mom that's going to get the best of the teacher. It's okay to be overbearing(in a nice way). I'm sure you've heard the old saying "the squeeky wheel gets greased." Be the wheel!

It seems to me the teacher should know in advance what snacks/treats/foods the students are going to be bringing in. I would request 24 hours notice of any food to be brought into the classroom so you can find out if it is gluten free or you can can come up with a similar substitute. There is no reason a first grader should leave school with tears in his eyes.

If your son has a 504 Plan this is where it will come in handy.

Be the wheel!
TEC

Linda · Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:25 am Post subject:

I second the 24 notice thing, especially since the kids choose what to make, they need to have the supplies, unless Mom is taking the supplies to school the morning of the cooking class. Plus, I'm sure your son has a pretty good idea what he's allowed to have and it only takes a minute to make a phone call, if you can reached during school hours.

As for birthday parties, and kids bringing in rice krispie squares, etc. My son (6 & in grade 1) has a treat bag in his teacher's desk with Rockets, Fruit Gummies, and Envirokids bars. He can't have M&Ms at school because of the one child in class with a peanut allergy. Peanuts are not forbidden, just "discouraged".

Good luck.

Kathie · Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 713 Location: Florida

From your description it sounds like this is happening once a week. Is it always the same day? If requesting 24 hours notice doesn't work, I would call the teacher on the day they are doing this and ask what has been brought in for that day. Down here the teachers use e-mail to communicate and we have found with the good teachers we get a much better response from them using e-mail.
_________________
CD by Biopsy 3/25/88

mrsppmrxky · Joined: 09 Oct 2004 Posts: 1452 Location: GF Kitchen

When I first saw your title, I thought that she wasn't taking your child's CD seriously and giving him food.

I can understand the being left out feelings, but maybe it would be easier for you and your child until he is older that he doesn't participate in the 'cooking' and tasting until it is his turn to prepare food.

Seriously, who provides the dishes? Who oversees that the kids hands are clean of gluten before they start to prepare their food?

I would supply my child with boxed drinks that they could have and lots of snacks that would keep him so he isn't left out. (I would explain the safety issue and that you have lots for him so he isn't left out.)

(I had to do this with my son when he was in elementary school before we homeschooled. He could not have anything that was refined sugar in it or whole milk........... He was content with his 'special foods'. In fact he felt special at home because he had his own cookie jar and both of my girls had to share theirs. LOL)

Of course my opinion is differnt from the ones above, but that is how I would handle this with my kids if they were little.
_________________

aloneinidaho? · Joined: 11 Jan 2006 Posts: 199 Location: Idaho

colleen, Here is my thought. The teachers have way to many kids in the class to begin with, they love to have volunteers. I would go in and talk to the teachers and tell them you want to come help on food days, that way your prepared on what their having and your kids love having their mom there too. Second I would make cupcakes and take some to school, the teachers have a teachers loung with a fridge and freezer, but make sure you have your childs name on it and for food day written on it and let the teacher know. Third I would bring a bunch of treats your child can have and put them in the teachers desk with your childs name on it. We are going through something similar, but my daughter is in twelth grade but not sure what she can have. She just knows a few things that she can have. But the teachers keep having an unexpected time when they decide to pass out treats. And everytime she comes home broken hearted. I guess I should heed my own words and just run some treats up to school and have the teachers keep them in their desks. They all know how sick she's been. Good luck to you. Carey
_________________
Dear Lord, Please help me help my stupid self.

The Edifying Conscience · Joined: 29 Aug 2005 Posts: 2383

Great idea about volunteering in her son's class on food day! Also, like the idea of keeping a box of gluten free snacks available for her son whenever the rest of the class has a treat...sort of a treasure chest of GF treats.
TEC

Professor · Joined: 19 Oct 2005 Posts: 757

Another thought:

How about making up a special little box that the teacher can keep on a shelf or in her desk, with a few items that might be similar to whatever the rest of the class might be eating or drinking? You could put in some GF cookies, crackers, drinks, various snacks, etc. (Ask the teacher what some of the usual items are, and then try to match those as closely as possible.) Then, even if the class is eating cookies, your son can have his own cookies and not be left out.

(After writing this, I looked at the other replies and saw that TEC's comments were the same! Oh well! Great minds think alike, right??)

cruelshoes · Joined: 23 Sep 2005 Posts: 2423 Location: Washington State

Thanks for all the suggestions, guys and gals. We have had a snack stash in the room, but my son just told me that it ran out quite a while ago and nobody told me. Confused

I am going to restock it today and try to have a talk with the teachers again. Hopefully I can get it straightened out.
_________________
-Colleen
Dx 8/05 via bloodwork/biopsy
9-YO son Dx 11/05 via bloodwork/biopsy
Daughters have negative bloodwork - so far!

A woman is like a tea bag-you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Demo · Joined: 16 Nov 2005 Posts: 271

Thats what we do for my sons preschool. Keeping those snacks on hand works well. The teachers are real good about calling us with anything in question. Kindergarten next year will be a whole new experience.

dkad · Joined: 08 Apr 2005 Posts: 315 Location: TX (panhandle)

I had wanted to reply earlier but have been busy, fires everywhere, everyday, within reach of our home, friends dying, been a hard last 5 days and fires are still going.
You have been given some really good advice. I only have one more thing you might like to consider. I have taught El Ed for years. I had a parent whose child had several allergies and she wanted her 2nd grader to be independent but still know what was going on. She printed out information and it was sent home with every child in the classroom. If there was going to be a birthday, special treats she asked the parent to call her and let her know what was being sent, so she could prepare to have something equal to it or a good sub. Of course there were times when she wasn't informed but it really helped me out and other parents were really receptive to seeing the child was kept healthy and happy. Also the child had a note in her desk for when there were subs. It included things she could and couldn't have. Subs can be a childs worse nightmare if they have health issues and the teacher has failed to leave information.
_________________
Donna
When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you please get that for me?"
4-21 and still living