Dating

[StaceyMac]

Ok so I have had CD for five years and in that time I have gone out with one guy. It is really hard to go out with someone when you really can't go out easily. Plus I kinda wonder if guys are scared away by the disease. I know I am probably just making too much of this, but I have to wonder. I mean I just don't get why no guys want to date me, but I have several as my friends. Any advice on this subject?
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It only gets better from here.

[The Edifying Conscience]

I think doing something active on the first couple of dates makes it easier. The food thing doesn't become an issue until you have decided if you want to go on subsequent dates. Plus, you can mention that you have celiac disease in an non-stressful environment (read: not at a restaurant).

Active date ideas: hiking, outdoor concerts, movies-in-the-park, geocaching, bowling(gross, but fun), go karting(damn childish, but really fun). Two of the best first dates I've ever had were bowling and spending time at a go-kart complex compete with skee-ball, video games and a batting cage. The bowling first date guy is now one of my good friends and I dated the go-kart guy for a while.

I think the key is to make celiac disease seem manageable and not to dwell on it. I'm wondering what signals you're sending out.

[nancw]

Hi.
I agree w/ TEC. Stay away from food if possible while on early dates. If he's worth keeping around and likes you a lot, he'll figure out that CD isn't so bad after all. Better yet, find a restaurant that "gets" GF, or is completely GF and take him out to dinner. Or cook him a GF dinner at your place.

I've actually asked my husband if he really meant his vows, since my food problems create stress in our relationship. He's a wonderful guy and I have nothing to worry about, but still, I feel guilty when I don't want to go out to eat, even when given a relatively safe option. Dates for us now might be a trip to Dave & Buster's (gigantic arcade), a movie or concert after a wonderful dinner cooked in my safe kitchen.

Hey TEC - why is bowling gross?
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Nance

gluten, dairy, soy, rice, yeast and 99% grain-free

[The Edifying Conscience]

Only gross because of the rented shoes and borrowed balls. Who knows where the zillions of feet and hands ahead of me have been!

[aklap]

TEC - a go-kart guy... If I had some spare cash laying around, I'd get myself a shifter kart. As for bowling...I have own shoes and ummm ball.

Stacey - believe it or not - that ones that do want to date you despite having CD are the ones you ultimately want to hang on to in the long run. If they are running because of it NOW, that ain't gonna get any better with time. This can help weed out the "undesirables". At least that's my male viewpoint

It might be misunderstanding in how or what this disease is. Heck, if you think of it...disease is kind of a nasty and negative term. Maybe they think it's contagious or something. How or what do you say to them about your CD? How 'bout saying Gluten Intolerance the next time...or saying 'my body doesn't tolerate gluten' when it comes time for that.
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Al

“We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” Mother Teresa

[ostrich]

I don't know, I think you could still do a restaurant on the first date. Like Nance said, find a restaurant you're comfortable with and order something GF. If you have to specify ("I'd like the GF noodles please.") and your date asks, just give him a very short blurb about CD and then turn the conversation to something else.

There's also local attractions like the beach/mountains (depending on where you live), the fair, etc. I guess it sorta depends on your date's personality.

TEC - Yeah, bowling can be gross. However, one of my most fun dates involved bowling and making a complete *** of myself.
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Ostrich :>--O==={

Time falls away, but these small hours
These little wonders still remain

[cruelshoes]

I find that with people in general (and men are just like people even if they do have COOTIES! ), if I make celiac no big deal, it will be no big deal for them. This is not to say that I don't take the diet seriously, or am not careful when I attempt to eat out. But if I have a good attitude about it and want to make things work, so do they. Perhaps if you did want to do food things on dates, you could always have a short list of suggested places in the back of your mind. Then when the food issue came up, you could casualy steer the date that way.

Non-food dates are always good too. When my husband and I were dating, we used to love to go to Theatresports, which is improvisational theater. Alas, now that we have been married over a decade, our dates usually consist of Costco or Home Depot.
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-Colleen

Where are we going, and what am I doing in this handcart?

[StaceyMac]

Thanks for all the advice. It really does help. Luckily there are a couple places around here that do have a GF menu, and several others that do have GF selections. I like the idea of having the date without food at first. I have to say bowling is awesome, though as most of you I think the shoes are gross ( but I have my own ball). Ialso agree about the guys that are freaked not being worth messing with. I think people do think since it is a "disease" that it is contagious, and I wish I could just educate them all to the reality of things. I feel alot better about the aspect of dating now. Thanks again.
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It only gets better from here.

[cultureslayer]

Coffee? non-food? a restaurant that you agree on ahead of time?

Lots of options.

My boyfriend and I went to several motorcycle dealerships, then Wendy's. Later, we went out for supper at a brewery that's good about gluten free, then out drinking. It's not hard to come up with stuff to do.

And skip the movies until later. Reason? You can touch, but not talk. Doesn't work well if you don't know what boundaries there may be.

Also helps if you have a common interest, so the first few dates can focus on that. And he's picky, so he can't complain about you being picky for medical reasons. Or he has food allergies. Or a family member that's a dietitian.
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Lauren
Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

[cultureslayer]

Stacey, I think they might be afraid they're going to hear about all the symptoms and treatment in gory detail.

Introduce the idea gradually. You might want to educate them, but it's really best to wait until they ask.
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Lauren
Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

[ostrich]

[cultureslayer]

[aklap]

My view [a shy male how sometimes has trouble finding things to talk about] on it...

Going to a movie will give you things to talk about afterwards [that's of course if your date hasn't left already from inappropriate touching ]

*Note: I have been out of the dating scene for 2-3 years, so I may not know what I am talking about.
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Al

“We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” Mother Teresa

[Kathie]

[cultureslayer]

Ah, but the shy guys are cute when they are nervous.

This is where the similar interests really helps. Only problem is that if you both like the same things there's no voice of reason to hold you back.
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Lauren
Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.