What am I doing wrong when we eat out?

[BunnyBlue]

Hi, I'm newly diagnosed (3 weeks ago), and this is my first post. Please forgive me if I am not doing it right.

I thought I had been doing really well, but in the last little bit, I've messed up twice!

Yesterday, I accidentally ate soy sauce with wheat in it, and today I was served french fries that were dusted with flour. If I eat at home and cook, I'm fine, but eating out is really difficult sometimes.

I try really hard to ask the right questions, but it seems that when I eat out, the waiters don't always know what I am talking about, but the worst part is that they say they understand.

In the case of the french fries, I asked if they had flour coating because they were called "seasoned fries", and the guy said "no". But when they came, they obviously were coated, and I explained that I couldn't eat them, and he said "it's batter". I smiled and explained that the batter had flour in it. It is really frustrating to then not have anything to eat while they bring a replacement and everyone else has their food

Is there something we can do differently or better? I cannot believe what a positive difference this diagnosis has made to me, and I want to be successful in getting healthy.

Thank you very much for any insight!

[nancw]

Welcome to the GF life. Until you get the hang of things it is best to eat in exclusively and keep your food choices simple. It takes some time to get GF-savvy, and restaurants are not the place to do so. There are too many possibilities for misunderstanding, cross contaimination and guesswork.
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Nance

gluten, dairy, soy, rice, corn, yeast and 99% grain-free

[ostrich]

I second what Nance said. Until you get the hang of things, your best bet is to eat at home. This is a hard diet to master; dining out just complicates things, especially since you're still new at this. You might also want to check out this thread about the dangers of dining out.
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Ostrich :>--O==={

I lie below, you float above
In the pretty white ships that I am dreaming of

[glutenfreefoodie]

While it is difficult eating out, you will get better at asking the right questions. I find that telling the wait person that "I cannot eat gluten which is found in wheat, barley, rye and oats. Can you please tell me which items on the menu are fine for me to eat?" Usually you will be able to tell pretty quickly if the waiter knows about gluten. If the waiter doesn't know, they will usually go and ask the chef. Thankfully, more restaurants are becoming gluten aware, and even have special celiac menus or mark the gf dishes on the menu.
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Is your life gluten free?

[yogaprof]

My hubby and I are major restaurant-goers and I have discovered a few things:
go to the same places often, be a good tipper, and get to know the staff.
go to small places that care about their customers.
don't put up with vague answers--leave!
ask if fries are "quick coated."
if server doesn't go ask the cook, don't trust their answers.
go to vegetarian restaurants. they are used to dietary issues.
compliment them like crazy if they take good care of you and come back soon.

[Noatak]

I always thought that french fries were "verboten", unless you know for sure that they have a dedicated fryer. I never order fries in a restaurant for that reason....I just make them at home if I want them.

You will in time be able to go out to eat and have it be successful but like many have pointed out here, that takes learning and time. I have also found that the higher end the restaurant, the better your odds are of getting a GF meal done correctly. They are more educated and know what gluten is and about CC. I generally don't go out that much so when I do go out to eat, the extra money is there to go to a better place to eat. I also go overboard with praise and tips when they get it right...they always will remember that!

[luvscowznh]

Bunny:

I agree with the others - until you get a hang of the lifestyle, eat in. Even after almost 5 years of being GF, going to known restaurants with GF menus, having dining cards to show the waiter/waitress and the chef, I still have some occasional problems. If you HAVE to eat out, one thing that does make it a little easier is dining out cards. I have the full set from Triumph Dining. I also buy their dining out guide every time they update it. It helps give you a better idea of what places you are less likely to get glutened. Having said that, you must understand that every time you eat something you are not in control of (ie restaurant, friends house) you are taking a risk. It is up to you to decide if the risk is worth it or not. There are no real safe restaurants (unless you can find one of the few dedicated GF ones which are few and far between...)

I am fortunate enough to have a husband who will try to make me a gluten free version anything I want at home. (Which is a blessing now that I am pregnant and having cravings....)

Good luck with your adjustment. I know it is very hard. It's not just a diet - it's a way of life. There are social aspects as well as dietary. (Which is why I said lifestyle and not diet...) This forum will help you immensely as will support groups. It's always nice to know that there are others who have been through this that can offer advice and support. I know this forum has helped me more than I can say over the last 5 years. (Thanks, guys!!)

--Manda
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[mitzie]

I was diagnosed six months ago and today was the first time I ate out since diagonsis. I went to an Italian resturant with some friends. Luckily I had a veteran Celiac in the group with me. (25 year veteran). She lelped me through the ordering, and I did fine. Thank goodness. I was nervous my first time out. It was a sucsessful outing and I don't think I will be so nervous going out the next time.
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looking for CDGF help in all the right places

[Noatak]

There you go, Mitzie.....you will get the hang of it! I notice you are from Massachusetts and I don't know what part of the state you are in but if you want to send me a PM, I could give you a list of places that are good to Celiacs. I live about 30 miles west of Boston. In fact, I have been going to dinners once a month with a GF dining group out of RI and the 2 ringleaders are awesome people who have been going around to restaurants, talking with chefs and asking them if they can accommodate us. They do outstanding work. I cannot make all the dinners as they are in RI but the ones closest to the Mass. border I try to attend and it's a great group of people. The next one is Friday, April 25th and it's ITALIAN! The chef is doing a special menu for us so how can you go wrong? It is posted on this thread if you want to check it out. The restaurant is in North Providence so it's pretty close to the Mass. border.

[gladtobeglutenfree]

Eating out safely can be done, but it takes a lot of time to figure out how to do so safely. We have people in our dinner club that were so afraid to eat out since they got sick every time they did. But most of them admitted that they didn't want to ask for 'special treatment' so they just guessed about what might be gluten free. They assumed plain chicken, a baked potato and plain salad would be fine - not. Many national chains have wheatstarch in their chicken breasts so there is no way to get a plain gf chicken dish from them. The potato is fine if you ask them not to cut it in the back. This way they can't mess it up with a knife they just used for a gluten food item. What I suggest to people with Celiac about dining out is that if you don't want to ask for 'special treatment', please don't ever go out to eat unless it's at a 100% gluten free restaurant. There is no way to safely dine out without asking for extra service.

We eat out often but it took me six months to get comfortable doing so. We frequent Chinese, Mexican and even authentic Italian places that serve some of the best food around. They know us and we them. And we reward them for their dedication to making us great gluten free food. If everyone sits home and goes without eating out, things will change more slowly in our market than if everyone at least tried to ask for what they needed once in a while.

One person can make small changes. The whole lot of us can change our market in ways we can only dream of today. We have gluten free crab cakes on the menu at one place in an Atlanta surburb. This did not come about by accident. It came from a need the restaurant owner saw and took the challenge to fill. When we took our dinner club there last month, they brought out gluten free breadsticks with dipping oil. They were better than those at Risotteria's in NYC. A Celiac diagnosis these days does not mean you have to give up having a fulfilling and delicious life. It just means you have to work harder for it now.