Attendance Review hearing

[aklap]

Duchesses I think you are correct in going there calm, cool, collected and organized. Going off on them or going into "attack mode" will only add fuel to their fire. Don't let them rattle your cage - or at least - don't let them see it if it is.

Good luck
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Al

“We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” Mother Teresa

[The Edifying Conscience]

[duchessisa]

I agree that her health should be under control. That is part of my frustration with her doctors. I believe I mention in my first post that the doctors would rather treat her symptomatically. I have been trying to get familiar with my kiaser options this year as we recently changed health plans. Often she sees a random doctor rather than her doctor and so there has been very little I have accomplished for her. Her health is really more of a reflux related D and or cross contamination D conbined with a low immune system which allows her to contract every illness she comes in contact with. When she gets ill she stays ill for far longer than expected. A mouth virus common to teens with braces hit her hardest this year. What the doctor said lasts about 5 days ended up turning bacterial and she ran a fever of 104 for six days. Sure she was on antibiotics but I wasn't sending her to school. Even after the fever broke her gums were swollen over her brackets and she had to have gauze in each cheek to keep the ulcers from touching her hardware. Three weeks later she caught strep. A month and a half later She had Scarlet Fever. A few weeks later she had a sore throat and swollen glands, fearing the worse I kept her home for two days till I realized it was just seasonal allergies but then that turned into a sinus infection. I have turned in Doctor notes for all of these. But the occassional GI problem mixed with these is catastrophic to her attendance. She gets sick, just plain ol icky feeling with cramps and major D two or three times a month.

[lbd]

Have you considered hometeaching for your daughter? There are two ways to do so, depending on where you live. You can take the responsibility of doing the teaching yourself (or using a computer-based system). Or some school districts offer home and hospital teaching - that is, a teacher/tutor comes to your home to teach your child there because they are too sick to attend school.

Of the two, I think the first is the best option as far as actual education goes. Home and hospital teachers do the best they can, but the student doesn't really get the full instruction they need and are often awarded A's for doing minimal work.

The other thing I would find out is WHY your daughter is coming down with repeated bacterial infections. That is just not normal. Repeated doses of antibiotics are just not good for her and in fact, may be doing more damage. It sounds like you have some detective work to do in that area.

Your school district may be hard to deal with, but present your case rationally and they will have to acquiesce. Again, remember, we hear it all and many cases are B.S. It sounds like your daughter is such a bright girl and deserves to get a good education. Try to get her to school as much as possible - she can go with a mild infection if she is taking antibiotics already (get your doctor's ok) or a headache or a stomachache.

Good luck - let us know how it turns out!
Laurie

[mrsppmrxky]

duchessisa, your daughter sounds a lot like my youngest when she was that age. From the time she was in K, she missed a lot of school. Of course we did not know bout the CD then, but she suffered from miagraine headaches that would make her ill. When in school, she would have to leave to go and lay down in the nurse's office until the headache went away or either it was too bad and I had to go and get her.

She at the first sign of sniffles if I did not get her on a medication to keep the mucus flowing, she would end up with ear, throat and sinus infections. She is still a weak person. She pushes herself, but she often gets sick and it takes her a lot longer to heal than most.

Since we all 3 had Mono, our immune systems are fragile. MrP has to avoid people as do cancer patients on chemo.

If she is having repeated infections, that you need to get a nutritional and vitamin book and check out what you can do for the most repeated problem she has.

Zinc helps to build the immune system. When the mono wiped me clean and my immune system would not respond, I was on B12 injections weekly and taking zinc tablets everyday.

If the drs. do not help you with getting to the bottom of the infections, then I pray you can find a new dr! I am not sure if she has to take nexium or the other pill, Amanda had that and she was extremely fragile while on it.

I hope that the meeting goes well. I would look into a lawyer to attend with you. It will show that you stand up for your child. You have to do what is best for her health. Home teaching might be your best option.

Do you suspect sleep apnea? Amanda has that and the non restorative sleep interrupts your immune systems recovery process.

Good luck!
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[lbd]

I forgot to mention that when my daughter was little, she had repeated ear infections with multiple courses of antibiotics. The doctor even put her on a prophylatic dose for a few months which scared the heck out of me. At any rate, a friend of mine recommended echinacea tea to boost her immune system. She has had only one more ear infection since the age of 5 and she is now 20 years old! We all drink the tea if we feel the sniffles coming on and in most cases we never get the cold. I use the Traditional Medicinals version and it tastes good as well and is available in most grocery stores these days.

Might be worth a try in your daughter's case.

Laurie

[The Edifying Conscience]

Wonder how this situation turned out? Anyone know?

[duchessisa]

I was going to wait until it was completely resolved to tell how it went but the delay has been too long.
I went to the meeting in a pretty good state of preparedness. My husband and daughter where there of course. We sat at a small table in front of 9 school and community members who's seating made a U shape around us. I very much felt on trial but refused to work up to that anxiety I felt originally. I had with me receipts for my co payments for each of Juleah's doctor visits. I didn't want to give them too much about her medical history and the women in our insurance's member service dept. offered this as a good solution. I also had Juleah's report cards from the past two years. They are a great record of aptitude, attendance, and attitude. I was able to find seven awards from last year alone that the current school gave her for excellence in math, P.E., and science as well as honor roll, high honor roll, being courteous, and for generosity. I brought in her original 504 and her modified 504. I was pretty well set.
Can you believe I never had the chance to show them ONE piece of paper.
The first woman started out telling us what Juleah's teachers had to say about her. (This was after I told them I didn't like the idea of Juleah being present because she feels very scrutinized and guilty for having caused this meeting when she has no control over the poor health she has suffered this year. I was assured it would not be presented accusingly and this would only be a meeting to find solutions.)
We didn't get far... First teacher remarks were plain facts. Here's a quote from our packet.
Second teacher remark: English- Juleah is a great student; however, she is gone from class a lot! She currently has an 86.9% in English-surprising for the number of absences she has. Juleah is currently missing 13 assignment; therefore her grade really reflects how well she does on tests, quizzes, and writing assignments. Again she has a phenomenal ability BUT SHE IS DOING HERSELF AN INJUSTICE BY NOT ATTENDING REGULARLY.
After each fragment of this statement the vice principal would ask, Do you agree with that Juleah? Do you think you would do better if you were here more often? Do you like school? Do you see you have more potential?
Juleah very uncomfortable and both my husband and I felt she was very politely being drilled. We spoke up in unison. That was a peculiar twist for them.
He basically said," This is what my wife was talking about. We don't want Juleah to feel berated for her health. I won't listen to another remark that insinuates that Juleah is making a choice not to attend class. She is a good kids who likes school and has plans for college. If it were a matter of choice we wouldn't be here." I spoke up saying," I have supplied doctor's notes for almost every absence she has had. I don't understand why we are here. I have given the nurse a fairly detailed explaination of Juleah's health as well as written material and I have gone over Juleah's 504 and pencilled in changes with your school counselor. Still it seems none of you or Juleah's teachers are aware of her circumstance or needs."
They looked dumbfound and speachless for a moment and then asked for a little more info. Once I told them that juleah has been ill with several different virus' etc and she has continuing health issues they couldn't have been nicer. They all told Juleah how wonderful it is to see a child overcoming obsticals. How typically they are dealing with deadbeat parents and going nowhere kids. And it was obviuos this was not Juleah's case. I was promised the school nurse would set up a meeting to create a new 504 in partnership with the principal, and the principal of the high school Juleah will attend next year. All of this was supposed to happen by mid week the following week. I haven't heard from them yet so I will be in thier office Monday when I drop Juleah off.

[lbd]

It sounds like you did a good job of presenting your case. As I mentioned before and your school board members mentioned, as school professionals we deal with so many parents who keep their kids home for ridiculous reasons or the child has the parent snowed. This does not sound like the case for your daughter. Good luck and keep pursuing it with your school. A lot is going to depend on the school nurse. In my school, the special ed dept would carry the ball on this and the nurse would be a assistant, but your district might be different. Hope your daughter can recoop from her illnesses and attend as much as possible. She sounds like a bright girl!

Laurie

[Kirsty27]

So glad to hear it went okay. It is true that the majority of kids with long absenses are truanting - often with parental support. These guys are only doing their job and will be supportive if the evidence is presented. It's just a pity that they suspect the worst and often don't look at the evidence until the very last minute!!
Hope your daughter continues to do well in her studies and that her health improves.
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Kirsty

http://www.MyGlutenFreeChild.com

[ostrich]

Wonderful! I really am happy that everything worked out. I'm sure Juleah is excited too. People are finally starting to understand.

[aklap]

Well done Duchess, et al! Thanks for the wonderful update. Now you can get back to focusing on what really matters - getting J healthy!
_________________
Al

“We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” Mother Teresa