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aloneinidaho?
Joined: 11 Jan 2006
Posts: 199
Location: Idaho
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 Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 12:15 pm Post subject: daughter moving back home |
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My oldest daughter found out the big wounderful world was'nt so wounderful. Shes moving in today. First of all her and her sister fight non stop- stresses me out. And Kassi does'nt need more stress with how sick she has been, thats the brat that lives at home, I call her minny me.She really loves that too. But having the other one move back in, I'm not sure how to feed everyone. Me and Kassi are very limited on what we can eat, and my husband is so good, he just rolls with whatever we are eating. So I'm worried I am going to have to be a short order cook. Maybey its time everyone fends for their self, except Kassi, if I don't fight with her and feed her she won't eat anything. I guess we will see what happens. God help us all. Carey
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Professor
Joined: 19 Oct 2005
Posts: 757
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 12:58 pm Post subject: Re: daughter moving back home |
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| aloneinidaho? wrote: | | My oldest daughter found out the big wounderful world was'nt so wounderful. Shes moving in today. First of all her and her sister fight non stop- stresses me out. And Kassi does'nt need more stress with how sick she has been, thats the brat that lives at home, I call her minny me.She really loves that too. But having the other one move back in, I'm not sure how to feed everyone. Me and Kassi are very limited on what we can eat, and my husband is so good, he just rolls with whatever we are eating. So I'm worried I am going to have to be a short order cook. Maybey its time everyone fends for their self, except Kassi, if I don't fight with her and feed her she won't eat anything. I guess we will see what happens. God help us all. Carey |
Oh, if you have an adult child move back in, I have a bit of advice for you! I'm dealing with this now, and while I won't throw her out, I have reminded her often that this is my home, and she is a guest in it, and lives by my rules. First of, don't become a short-order cook. And if it's easier for you to have a GF household, do that. She lives by your way of doing things. If you cook for everyone, make one meal, and if she doesn't choose to eat with the family, she can fix her own meals. She's how old?? Also, make sure it's not a free ride -- she should pay some rent if she's working (and she should be working or going to college -- those are my requirements at least). My daughter complains every month about paying half the rent, but I just remind her that she could pay full rent if she wanted to leave and get her own place again . . . I also have a list of her share of the housework, and she is expected to do it. As far as hours and such, she keeps mine as well -- if it's lights out at 11, then I don't expect her to be outside her room blaring TV, making snacks, etc. Lights out in my house is quiet time.
OK, you didn't ask for more than food/meals advice, but I'm throwing it out there anyway. I made some mistakes initially, and wish I had gotten it together better at the start. It can make all the difference. Lay down the rules, and if she doens't like them, the big bad world is waiting for her! (Mine is supposed to move out and get her own place in June! Yay! I had just gotten very used to the empty nest, and then it filled up again. I was loving my own time, privacy, quiet, etc. Ah, parenting never seems to end, does it?) |
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aloneinidaho?
Joined: 11 Jan 2006
Posts: 199
Location: Idaho
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 1:11 pm Post subject: |
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Lexi, your great. She does go to college full time and has a full time job, her room mate has screwd up with not paying rent so many times that now my daughter has a lot of check charges and all the utilitys have probably gooten backed up is my guess. She just turned 20. And need I say a little bit of a priema donna. Carey
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mrsppmrxky
Joined: 09 Oct 2004
Posts: 1471
Location: GF Kitchen
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 2:28 pm Post subject: Re: daughter moving back home |
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| Professor wrote: | Oh, if you have an adult child move back in, I have a bit of advice for you! I'm dealing with this now, and while I won't throw her out, I have reminded her often that this is my home, and she is a guest in it, and lives by my rules. First of, don't become a short-order cook. And if it's easier for you to have a GF household, do that. She lives by your way of doing things. If you cook for everyone, make one meal, and if she doesn't choose to eat with the family, she can fix her own meals. She's how old?? Also, make sure it's not a free ride -- she should pay some rent if she's working (and she should be working or going to college -- those are my requirements at least). My daughter complains every month about paying half the rent, but I just remind her that she could pay full rent if she wanted to leave and get her own place again . . . I also have a list of her share of the housework, and she is expected to do it. As far as hours and such, she keeps mine as well -- if it's lights out at 11, then I don't expect her to be outside her room blaring TV, making snacks, etc. Lights out in my house is quiet time.
OK, you didn't ask for more than food/meals advice, but I'm throwing it out there anyway. I made some mistakes initially, and wish I had gotten it together better at the start. It can make all the difference. Lay down the rules, and if she doens't like them, the big bad world is waiting for her! (Mine is supposed to move out and get her own place in June! Yay! I had just gotten very used to the empty nest, and then it filled up again. I was loving my own time, privacy, quiet, etc. Ah, parenting never seems to end, does it?) |
Professor, sound advice! I tip my hat to you.
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aloneinidaho?
Joined: 11 Jan 2006
Posts: 199
Location: Idaho
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:40 pm Post subject: |
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Me and my daughter that is moving in just went to see failure to launch. Was that bad timing or what? It was helarious. You guys should go see it. Carey
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Professor
Joined: 19 Oct 2005
Posts: 757
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| Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 6:06 pm Post subject: |
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| aloneinidaho? wrote: | | Me and my daughter that is moving in just went to see failure to launch. Was that bad timing or what? It was helarious. You guys should go see it. Carey |
I saw it yesterday -- hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
(I rated it 5 smiley faces!) |
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Kathie
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Posts: 752
Location: Florida
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| Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 1:09 pm Post subject: |
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I absolutely agree that you should not change your life style to suit the child that just moved back home. My 21 year old has popped in a few times over the past couple of years, (and always during hurricanes which we have gotten way too many of lately.) She eats what we do, or buys her own food and fixes it herself. As a matter of fact I firmly believe that we should not be a short order cook for a child of any age. We cook good meals and make sure that there is one thing that everyone likes, if thats not good enough there is PBJ.
She never stays long because we have teenage boys, (borrow some for a few days and yours may leave soon as well) She also has been told that although she is an important member of the family it is the boys home and they are not required to change to suit her. She has the option to live somewhere else and they don't.
One of the times she moved back was after a relationship break up where her .Friend ran up her credit cards, they bought 2 cars in her name and basically just ruined her credit, which was outstanding, she had to declare bankruptcy to get out from under it all. We didn't charge her rent to allow her to get some money together to get back out on her own, but we also knew that she was just there for a few weeks. I definetely would charge rent if I thought she was going to be there long term. She also did all of her own laundry and was required to clean up after herself. She is presently renting my Mother-in-laws condo, and is paying rent there.
Good luck 
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