angry and discouraged

[abetterjulie]

I have been trying to get the ingredients together to bake my own bread with Bette Hagman's book. It has been like pulling teeth. The natural store 30 minutes away (one way) has 1/2 the ingredients, and then the store down the street has two of them, but the rest I have to order online. Does anyone else feel like this is ridiculous at times?? I am so discouraged.
Not to mention how crazily expensive everything is!! I may even end up spending enough to meet that 7.5% tax restriction.
I have been able to make choc chip cookies and pnt bttr cookies, but I miss bread. I miss being able to eat what I want, when I want.
I realize this is all irrational, and I should just be grateful for feeling better. I was...two weeks ago. Now I am past that stage, and wanting things to be easier. I just feel down and depressed.
My whole world centers around food suddenly. I spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen or shopping. I don't like it.

Julie

[Guest]

Hi Juile,

Sorry to hear you're having a rough go at making the bread. We have to go to 2 health foods (1 30mins away, 1 45 mins away) and 1 large grocery store (45 min away as city as the one healthfood store) - in addition to our normal gorcery store to get my stuff. We live a in small town of <8,000. Yes it is frustrating - no question about it!!

Missing bread - believe it or not - you will not miss bread after awhile. I was a huge bread hound! Now - if I don't have it - it's not a big deal. Good luck with the Bette bread - she does have good bread!!!

As for the way you are feeling. No it's not irrational. It sounds like reality is setting in. You probably coming down of the 1st high of knowing what's going on and starting to feel better. That is an incrediable high!!! Now you are realizing what it's going to take to remain healthy. Yes your world will center around food for awhile until you get everything worked out. Soon shopping time will lessen as you get to know the things you can have.

So hang in there - things will get easier!! It sounds like you're doing a great job. It took us a good 3-6 months before we were really comfortable with it.

Take care!! If you need to vent - you know where we are

[aklap]

Darn work computer (it doesn't automatically log me in). That's me above

I ran across this today...I think it might be a fit for you...

So an ancient once said, "Accept the anxieties and difficulties of this life". Don't expect your practice to be clear of obstacles. Without hindrances the mind that seeks enlightenment may be burnt out. So an ancient once said, "Attain deliverance in disturbances".
--Zen Master Kyong Ho [ 1849-1912]
_________________
Al

“We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” Mother Teresa

[mchess]

Hi Julie,
I just wanted to say you are not the only one going through that. I am still going through it too. Al is right though, It will get easier over time and grocery shopping will also go faster too. I miss bread too . But that is getting easier too. what I do about the bread though is if I get to craving it too bad is I make some of that gluten free pancakes from Pamela's. or I make gluten free corn bread those are good. It helps me anyway

Melissa

[aklap]

Good suggestion Melissa!! Another thing you can do is get bread mixes...that way everything you need is there (dry ingreds).

GF Pantry Fav. sandwhich bread is a fav of mine. Manna from Anna is good too (more expensive than the rest...but makes more)
_________________
Al

“We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.” Mother Teresa

[maria1223]

manna from anna is very good but expenisve. also the gluten free corn bread is good too. you just have to subsitute things u can still eat good things. U just got to know how to subsitute things & know how to cook. I'm only 39 & only been Dx since dec of 2004 at first I thought that I was never going to get the hang of it but I did after about 3 weeks. I can make all kinds of goodies & full corse meals My family even likes it. I made some banana bread & pumpkin pie for my best friend & she lliked it too. I'm going to make a cheese cake tomarrow. If u have non G/F people in ur house keep ur kitchen clean I use latex gloves & clorox clean up. I went through the depression only because I was Dx with CD & crohns & I have a hiatal herina that is alot to deal with at 1 time. but when U put ur mind to it & say that u can't change it u will slowly get use to it. what got me through it some was this web site

www.memorial hospital .org/library/general/stress-the 3
the 5 stages of mourning
if u read it a couple of times u will hopefully get some relief. I know that I did. also write yourself a letter of forgiveness or someone that ur mad at tell them what ur problems are & let them know that u can over come this & anything that comes ur way. I did it with my ex- hubby and the stress & depression just started to lift It won't be completely gone but u will feel better about what u r going through. U will still go through the highs & lows but it will get better for u

I wish u all the best stay healthy

[Coban]

I'm really sorry that you are feeling down Julie.
I'm still less than a month in myself and still riding the high.
Hit a speed bump or 2 but nothing more.

Whatever else I had before, I didn't have my health.

My favorite waitressess have been very helpful and haven't glutened me yet but I was amazed at how much of a jerk my father was when I was home for dinner the other night.
He double dipped in the smart balance margarine that my mother bought special and I refused to use it.
He was still making Seinfeld jokes 3 hours later.
He's kosher and has 36 sets of dishes and 2 kitchens and I'm the nut!

I grew up kosher so I guess I'm a lot more accostomed to a restricted diet. I grew up surrounded by food I wasn't allowed to eat. I also live in NYC and its A LOT easier here.

My only advice is something that my nutritionalist said to me.
I asked her about bread machines and she laughed at me. "You've never cooked before and you want to bake bread now?"
DON'T!! You have to order stuff online anyway, might as well order some GF bread. I know its expensive but so are the alternatives.
If baking is a love of yours, you could work on non-essentials like GF brownies and cakes and other things that you can send me. Cookies... mmmmmmmm.... (think of Homer beer moans)

I'm sorry you are feeling down right now.

Ari in NYC

[xaz87]

hi abnetter julie. you are not alone in your frustation.I have had to eliminate most of my cooking supplys and change my way of eating. I too have gotten discouraged but than I stop and think that I could have been dealt a lot worse deal and sooner or later I will figure this all out. It is just good to know I can talk to people who understand this disease and give help. hang in there.

[AnnM01]

Julie:

It does get easier, but everyone with CD has down days and "problem" days where something slipped into the diet that we weren't expecting. I've tried a lot of the GF breads and many mixes...both store-bought and mixed up at home, but the closest thing I've found to real bread is from No-Worries bread. It can be ordered online and comes as a mix with the yeast packet enclosed. It makes very good bread and we've used it in a lot of recipes as a general flour replacement. Check out www.noworriesbread.com for details. Not cheap, but it's worth the price to have the better taste and texture. Ordered some earlier tonight as I used the last one I had in the freezer last week for a great coffee cake everyone in the house snacked on! Don't give up!!

[aklap]

[Deb]

i liked that too al---usually the ones who are the hardest to convince are the more fanatic types ---my brother refuses to believe that my sis, my dad, and i have celiacs--he thinks all we need is some good food and he wants to make us some good, hearty, barley soup---i dont think he will ever believe and i guess that is his choice--i just hope that he is the lucky one that doesnt ever have to live as a celiac cause i dont think he would ever understand--he is stubborn and no al---there isnt anyone else in that family that is stubborn especially not me---deb

[Coban]

[aklap]

[Coban]

No matter how old you get parents will always be parents.
I've always gotten the best of them though... i've always been quite a handful.

Seeing how many kids are reared these days I have 1 comment...
I started asking WHY when most kids first learn the word NO.
Time outs would have never worked on me.

[Guest]

Thanks to you for support. I had a much better day the next day, and am trying to see this as a chronic thing that will not be remedied in a week. I deal with people with chronic diseases that require management all the time, but it is so very different when it is my own life. I am such a control freak as it is.
I am so lucky that I have friends on this forum, a family that is supportive (if you don't include my mom), and a disease that doesn't require pills or surgery or disfigurement.
I am trying to not be disappointed and despondent about how crummy the food seems to be. I am not and have never been much of a cook, so this makes it harder for me. I liked the thing about never being a cook, and suddenly wanting to make bread. I have made two kinds of GF cookies successfully...and that is an achievement for me.
Again, thanks for the words of encouragement.

Julie