Desperately Need Help

[Sammy_B]

I am an undiagnosed celiac but have been off gluten for a while. ive experienced some improvement but still have numerous food sensitivities and am at the point where I'm just eating a handful of foods over and over. I cant gain weight and have become so severely depressed and a hypochondriac that I have no life anymore. I work in sales and travel quite a bit, but not lately because I am terrified of eating out. im supposed to take customers out and I havent in 6 months. When I travel I microwave fish in my room and eat lettuce and rice cakes to survive..its simply awful!


the fear of cancer & other diseases is haunting me and even restaurants that cater to folks like us put me off. i spend hrs and hrs at the computer looking up foods that are safe and writing on forums and in the process am severely neglecting my work. I just can't get a hold of myself. My family is worried about me and I have constant thoughts of death and suicide (not that I would ever do something like that)

I know I should seek therapy, but will that really help? i feel like I need medication as well but my body is so sensitive to everything i put in it that i dont think ill be able to even tolerate it.

Has anyone gone through this type of depression and if so please tell me how you got through it. I used to have a vision of what i wanted my life to be like and I am so far from that now.

Any support would be appreciated

[Deb]

How long have you been gluten free? It does take time, for some of us, lots of time. Are the ricecakes gluten free? I thought my Quaker Ricecakes were safe, but they aren't. The cross contamination issue is huge out there in our gluten free world.

Can you eat any veggies? I eat skinless, boneless chicken breast, green beans, peas, carrots, apples, pears, peaches, plums, and my Skippy Natural Peanut Butter.

I used to love salad, but had to give up lettuce. There is not an exact science for any of us. You just have to keep at it until you find what works for you.

Make sure everything you use is gluten free...soaps, shampoos, conditioners, lotions...EVERYTHING.

Good luck.
_________________
You can't discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore!

[homemaker]

Welcome.....
Sounds like you are depressed ... Sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time...Going Gluten Free can be overwhelming...
It is important to build support...and it would be a good idea to seek some guidance regarding your depression...
There is so much you CAN eat! I make my own bread...and take it with me when I travel...There are more products out there that are gluten free on the grocery shelves...I would be depressed if all I thought I could eat was rice cakes and fish...What other foods are you sensitive too?
For me it was hard to realize how much Dr.'s just don't know...once I got past that they don't know "everything", I empowered myself to go gluten free for my own personal health and well being irregardless of any formal diagnosis...Empower yourself and take charge...find out what you can eat!
Eating healthy foods can help your mood and don't be afraid to ask for help!

[Sammy_B]

Is gluten in shampoo really a problem? I have thinning hair and use Revivogen, which does contain wheat but I am very careful not to get it in my mouth when I shower and i always wash my hands before i touch food. i dont have any type of skin reaction..my problem seems to be localized to the bowel, but even when i do accidentally ingest gluten i never know cause i dont have severe symptoms and so many foods bloat me that its hard to differentiate.

ive been GF for 2 years, but the first year I was "gluten light" since I was under the impression i just had an intolerance. I eat Lundbery rice cakes and they are GF. i can eat most veggies as well. the problem is when i travel

do most of you avoid restaurants? i just feel like its unsafe and this is the hardest thing for me because so much of life revolves around eating out

[LucyGoose]

Hi there! I am new to all this myself, but have you been to the doctor at all? Good Luck to you!! Oh, I have just been gluten free for about a month, month and a half, but I have not ate out at all...... ....again, good luck!

[celiacmaine-iac]

Sammy- I can not stress this strongly enough. Get to a doctor as quickly as possible for a complete work up, including telling him/her about your depression symptoms. You need someone who can see the complete picture, and then to go from there. Therapy can help a lot, but you may also need to find the right medication for your symptoms of depression. Only a doctor can do that.

There is nothing to be ashamed of concerning depression. It is a medical condition. I live with depression. It took quite a while to find the medication that worked for me, but once we did, I got my life back. I have tried weaning off the medication a couple of times, but every time I do the symptoms come back, which makes me believe that there is a brain chemistry problem. So, I just take my medication, and am grateful for it. I try to be really open about it, because I believe there is still such a stigma attached to depression, that people don't seek help for fear of what others may think.

I am not diagnosing you as depressed, I am simply responding to the statement you made about being depressed. We are not doctors here, and cannot diagnose or treat anyone. Only a doctor can do that, which is why I recommend that you see one as soon as possible. Our bodies and minds are so closely connected that as you treat one thing, it's possible you will see improvements in other areas. I hope you and your doctor can sort all this out. I can hear how much you are suffering. I wish you well!
_________________
Steph

[ostrich]

[celiacmaine-iac]

[Home-Based-Mom]

What ostrich said.

Eating out is like walking blindfolded through a mine field. Sooner or later it's gonna getcha.

AFTER your thorough medical workup and evaluation, seriously consider looking for other work where eating in restaurants is not expected of you.

Feel free to come back here with your rants and concerns. No matter what you are dealing with, someone here has dealt with it and can offer support. It really helps to know you are not "the only one."
_________________
Sandi ~ learning to live in a world obsessed and infested with wheat.
"If it wasn't food 100 years ago, it isn't food now." Mike Huckabee
Support Operation Christmas Child

[NickisDragon]

Sounds like you've been overwhelmed by the avalanche-not enough concrete knowledge, too much information or too much MIS-information, too much life style change, too much fear.

FIRST: get thee to a doctor! Have those tests run. This may not even BE celiac you're dealing with. You need to know for sure so you can create a game plan and figure out the rules. Have that depression treated so that your brain can absorb the knowledge you're needing and act on it. You may not know this but another symptom of celiac is "brain fog", irrational thinking and mood swings. That may be part of what you're experiencing.

SECOND: That game plan is important. There is no quick fix. Step back and take a deep breath, then deal with one area at a time.
1. What exactly as I sensitive to?
2. What can I substitute on a daily basis?
3. What proteins and/or vitamins are necessary to replace those I'm not getting through food? There are GF protein powders to mix in smoothies as well as that Ensure drink to use as a suppliment.
4. Eating out a necessary evil? Don't panic. Ask to speak to the owner or manager of a restaurant when you enter. Explain your needs and you will be surprised at how many of them are dealing with this problem in their own families and are knowledgeble about it. This is their business and if they care about repeat business, they'll go to great lengths to keep you safe. Wait staff are usually neither knowledgeble or caring. Go right to the top. (If you can have a phone consult before you arrive--your clients need never know there's a problem. There are also some chains that are run by idiots and not gluten friendly. Speaking to them by phone will let you know who they are and allow you to choose another restaurant.)
5. This is DOABLE! One small step at a time, this IS doable. We've all been there. When you're released from your "cage of terror" you'll be able to treat it like a new adventure to a positive lifestyle. And remember, we fellow adventurers are here for you. You'll get through this. I have faith in you.
_________________
The opportunity to find happiness dances within every moment, beats within every heart, and grooves within every occurrence, situation, and event----Let's dance!.

Nicki

B-Day: January 18
DX: October 2005

[caseygirl]

Hi Sammy,

I agree with the others. I think seeking treatment for what you're feeling will be life changing. The thing about depression (and I'm not saying that is what you have) is that when you are in the midst of depression, you don't think you will ever feel happy again. That is the lie that depression is spreading! You can and will feel better, with proper treatment. It is possible to get your life to where you want it to be. But I strongly agree; your physical and mental health is all interconnected. I would suggest (like the others) seeing your doctor(s) for medical and psychological help.

As far as eating/intolerances.....ughh, I totally empathize with you! It's been a long road for me. I'm not a celiac but have several food intolerances. And b/c I'm not a celiac, I've had to figure this all out by myself. It's FRUSTRATING when doctors look at you like you have 5 heads when you tell them you're GF, despite no celiac diagnosis. I've learned I just have to listen to my body. My suggestion is start simple, with plain meats, fish, veggies, fruits, nuts. For at least 2 weeks. Then start to add some things in and see if you react (although I know you said you don't overtly react, but it's worth a try?). I react to gluten, dairy, soy, peanut butter, dates, and hummus, and most "bars"....some things seem so random, so it could be a random thing that's causing your GI troubles. Is there a reason you're not eating fruits and veggies? I find that bananas are easy to digest. What about brown rice? Have you ever had quinoa? It's a healthy grain, with lots of protein so it keeps you full and it's very easy on the digestive system. I make it like oatmeal with cut up bananas and walnuts or almonds.

I can definitely relate to you though; there was a time not too long ago when everything I ate, and I mean everything, caused me major GI distress and I was spending my afternoons in the bathroom. It was horrible...so I know what it's like to have a very sensitive system. It does get better though. Keep reading and asking questions. Once you figure out what's causing you problems, you won't be as senstive and your improving physical health just might positively affect your mental health!

[Gus's Mama]

Sammy,

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. It really can be terribly overwhelming.

The first thing you need to do is get yourself to a doctor. If you can't bring yourself to go through the phone book and find someone to help you, call 911. They are there for psychological emergencies, too. My own therapist reminds me of this now and then. Severe depression with suicidal thoughts is a real emergency, just like falling down a flight of stairs is a real emergency.

If you can't do it yourself, ask a trusted friend or family member to make the call for you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
From a food-related perspective, start simple. Poach some chicken with nothing more than salt and pepper, have it with some steamed white rice and a mild veggie that you know won't bother you. Scrambled eggs, cooked in a little olive oil with just a little salt and pepper. Keep it simple, keep it easy. As you begin to de-toxify and heal, you'll be able to handle more complex meals, and as you begin to feel better, cooking more complex meals won't seem like such a mountain to climb. Just stick with the basics for now, and before you know it preparing and eating GF meals won't feel that different from preparing and eating "regular" food.


Please check in now and then so we know you're okay.
_________________
Deb
-----------
SPD Little Boy, Gus: Getting better by the day! Improved digestion, skin issues clearing, able to focus and follow instructions, talking (the boy is TALKING!!!)

[Sammy_B]

I have been seeing a doctor and he has identified a lot of my problems...potential celiac, leaky gut, food allergies & IBS. I have been treating this for 2 years, however, for the first year I wasnt taking it so seriously. I assumed i had just a gluten intolerance so i avoided the obvious culprits, but still ate out frequently at places w/ gluten free menus and never bothered to mention it to wait staff...part of my anxiety is admitting i have a problem in front of people, so i would often call a place in advance, ask whats gluten free and then go to the restaurant and order w/o notifying a manager or waiter of my intolerance. I got by for a while, but I still wasnt getting better and after being what i considered "gluten free" for a year my labs still showed high antibodies. So I decided to get serious and accepted the fact that I probably have celiac.

If I just had to cut out gluten I would be fine, but there are so many foods I just cant seem to tolerate. My allergy blood test showed severe sensitivity to eggs, dairy, casein, garlic, soy, ginger, various nuts, berries, and several others. I dont necessarily get symptoms (maybe constipation) when i eat most of these foods, but im still avoiding them. I hope in time some will reverse. I really miss eating eggs...my grocery bill has sky rocketed because im buying much more meat than I used to. Egg whites were a nice cheap and healthy protein source for me.

Anyway, the primary source of my stress is... am I gonna get cancer if a bread crumb accidentally winds up in my salad on occasion? Do I have a serious autoimmune disease brewing in me? If I slip and have ginger tea or corn flakes with rice milk will that reverse the damage and cause problems? am I developing new allergies to all the food I'm eating on a frequent basis ? Will I ever be able to have a normal dating life? No woman is going to want a man with all these problems...and the list goes on.

I realize being comfortable and confident with myself is one of the keys to mental health, but I feel like im getting attacked from all angles. I scrutinize everything I eat, sometimes go to the store and buy things and then when i get home I throw them away because i shouldnt be eating them. I walk down the aisles at Whole Foods and my eyes fill up because im carrying a basket of the same stuff I buy there every single time. This an ongoing psychological dilemma and honestly the only time I feel fine is when im asleep, and lately i havent been getting much sleep cause i wake in the middle of the night obsessing about my health and what food im going to eat the next day.

Anyway, sorry for the tirade...I just want to be myself again and get back out in the world and start living again. Tonite my pal and i went to a bar to hang out and started talking to 2 girls..for those 2 hrs I felt more normal than I have in months.

thanks for listening...your comments really mean a lot to me

Sammy

PS. Since my job requires me to entertain customers, do you guys have any suggestions on how I can handle meals? I mean Do I have to avoid restaurants at all cost for the rest of my life...I just feel like its not safe to eat out..im certainly not gonna invite customers back to my hotel room for canned salmon and spinach salad

[ostrich]

[Sammy_B]

U kidding? I'm sure everyone deals with this on some level or has in the past